Family Retention: Schools
By Sally Velez | DEPLOY Family Retention Fellow
I have been a military spouse for more than 15 years. My experiences are my own, and while some people may resonate with my experiences, I understand and acknowledge that isn’t the case for everyone. Our different lived experiences don’t negate or minimize mine or your experiences. If we share various stories, we can start to create change by talking about and sharing different takes on life because having different stories can help more people.
Like many, before having children, I did not consider schools when it came to living someplace, and how one distinguishes what is essential for a school varies. This includes attending public schools, private schools, or homeschooling. All avenues have pros and cons that every family considers. Public schools have been struggling with budget cuts, even with scholarships, private schools can be unaffordable, and homeschooling may not be possible because a parent may feel unprepared to teach their child(ren). Every reason a parent chooses or does not choose as a means to educate their child(ren) is their own.
Relocating every two to three years is part of military life. My family has been lucky to live in some pretty unique and fun places, such as south Florida and England, just to name a couple of the places we have called home. The most challenging move regarding school enrollment was our move back to the States after living in England. My family and I lived on the British economy and decided to enroll our eldest at the local primary school in our village. When my family relocated stateside, we did not have documentation and records of our child attending a DODEA school, resulting in our records not being in the correct format needed for enrollment. It took some running around to ensure that I submitted everything to the district office to have them correctly transfer our child's records, and I did it, but it was a challenging experience! If not for my love of checklists, my experience would have been different. While my checklists tend to be self-made, this checklist is a pretty informative and solid starting point regarding possible school selections and registering one's child(ren) in a new school system.
My child is about to start high school, and thankfully, there have been no challenges presented by their unique start to their academic career. Making sure I have made myself aware of my rights as a parent and what is available to my family as a military family has been helpful. Ensuring I am knowledgeable about the Interstate Compact has helped me through our moves and registering our children in school. Because of technology, we have so much information readily available at our fingertips! I find the Interstate Compact great because it ensures we can transition our children academically; if a child is on a 504 plan or IEP, those can be transferred, too! My experience with 504 and IEPs is limited to where my family is currently located. However, that does not negate that having a 504 has been instrumental in my children's success this academic year. That said, I do know there are still difficulties with transferring IEPs and 504 plans through the most recent MFLS.
It can feel overwhelming when it comes to selecting a school that best fits our children's needs because there are so many variables that we, as parents, must consider. Will the school be military-friendly? Will my child fit in? What resources does the school have? I know I have so many other internalized questions about sending my children to new schools, and I like to think I am not alone in that area. If being a military-friendly school is crucial in your selection, I recommend going to theMCEC website and reading about Purple Star Schools.
Personally, I have found Purple Star Schools to be a fantastic starting point when I am unsure where I want to live or have my kids attend school. That said, sometimes doing all the research does not prepare you for your child having a negative experience at their assigned school. Last academic year was the first time one of my children had a truly negative experience with a school. By mid-year, the school staff knew me by name because I was at the school on a near-daily basis. Two months before the school year ended, I pulled my child out of their assigned school and requested they finish the school year from home. I was worried the school would fight me on this decision, but they didn't. The school was accommodating in ensuring my child was in the program they needed to be in to complete their school year from home. That decision was difficult, but I advocated for my child's needs. If a school does not fit your child, learn what programs are available within your school district. Meet with your child's counselor and assigned staff at their school; they may know of a program you may have missed.
This academic year we chose a different school for my eldest child. I now take them to and from school everyday, and while it can be monotonous, they are no longer calling me every day crying. They are once again happy and excited to attend school. I have no regrets in how last school year ended for them, or in deciding they needed to attend a different school this year. As military families, we know that sometimes, where we live may not be the best fit for us. The same can be said for schools. The new school my child attends is not even four miles from their previous school, but they are having a much better experience. All we can continue to do is keep moving forward and trying our best.