Breaking the Silence: Embracing My Unique Voice with ADHD

By Jillian Johnson | Digital Content Creator

“Jill, you’re talking way too fast. Can you slow down?”

“I’ve repeated myself three times. Are you deaf?” 

“Stop crying! God, you’re SO sensitive.”

“You’re shaking your leg again! Can you just stop?”

“Why are you so LOUD? Lower your voice!”

“You’re staring off into space again. Did you even hear a word I said?!”

I must’ve heard these gripes a thousand times growing up in the ‘90s. Friends, strangers, peers, and even my own mother would say at least one of these things to me daily. No matter how hard I tried, I could never fit in or communicate the way everyone expected. I felt like I was trapped in a world where my voice was too much, and my silence was never enough.

All I could ever think was, "What was wrong with me?"

As it turns out, all of my struggles were actually symptoms — my fast speech, auditory processing issues, increased emotional sensitivity, hyperactivity, volume control, and dissociation — and would eventually lead me to be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), combined presentation. You’ve probably heard it described in other ways — ADD is the most common (although this is no longer a valid diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition [DSM-5]). 

I received my diagnosis at 31 years old, shortly after my son received his own diagnosis. It was an eye-opening experience for me — all of the difficulties I had growing up fitting in with others and navigating social situations suddenly made sense. I realized that I wasn’t ‘weird,’ my brain was just wired differently. My diagnosis was a turning point for me, empowering me to embrace my quirks and advocate for myself. 

Instead of feeling like an outsider, I looked at it as a chance to bridge the gap of ignorance and start educating others. I was going to rewrite the narrative of my life.

If you’re like me and have had similar struggles — or maybe your struggles have been different — there are three things I want you to know:

1. There is help. TRICARE allows spouses of service members and Veterans to seek mental health care outside of a military installation without a referral. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been a game-changer for me in helping me find coping mechanisms to manage my condition. You can also discuss options with your PCM or psychological provider.

2. There is healing. My healing journey began when I realized my differences weren’t flaws but were parts of who I am. I started being kinder to myself and openly sharing my experiences with others. I learned to advocate for my needs — whether that meant taking breaks or communicating clearly with the people around me. Celebrating small victories showed me that progress comes in increments, and sharing my story fostered empathy and strengthened my relationships. Ultimately, healing has been about embracing my authentic self, recognizing my differences as strengths, and finding beauty in being me.

3. There is hope. Being a military spouse with ADHD has not been a walk in the park, if I’m being honest. I have never felt like I was as “resilient” as I have been told I should be. The workshops, TED Talks, and other tips and tricks related to being resilient and managing stress often felt like another way to label my struggles as failures. But I’ve come to realize that resilience isn’t about fitting a mold; it’s about adapting and finding my own path. I’ve learned to embrace my challenges and use them to connect with others in the military community who might feel just as lost. It’s about sharing our stories, supporting each other, and redefining what it means to thrive, even when the journey is messy. 

Embracing my ADHD experience has shown me that my quirks can be my greatest strength. Remember, you’re not alone — together, we can break the silence and thrive!